Happens Every Time...

When we last left our hero (that would be me,) he was waiting anxiously for his driver's license with the gold star, the REAL ID that would allow him to travel on his scheduled trip in late June. But our impatient leading man had a backup plan.

As previously mentioned, I had been told by many friends and relatives that a passport would be just as good. Not having had a passport since like 1982 (!) I had always figured it would be a hassle but with limited choices left, I had made an appointment at the post office on the off chance that the REAL ID I had successfully applied for the week before wouldn't arrive in time.

I got to our local friendly P.O. before my scheduled appointment. The sign that said 'Passports' had an arrow pointing to the left, so I went that way only to find that the passport area was roped off. I was instructed by a passing employee that I needed to get on line to the right. OK....

After a wait, I told the woman at the window that I was there for a noon passport appointment and started to show her all my important papers. "Do you have the completed application?" she asked.

What?

It suddenly occurred to me that I had indeed filled out an application and had even printed it out--but that felt like a month ago! Was it still on my printer? I closed my folder of important papers. "I don't have it, " I said resignedly.

"Can you go home and get it?"

I did, then returned to the post office 15 minutes later and waited on the (longer) line again. Thankfully, I got the same woman. I handed her the completed application. She looked at it, then at me.

"Where's the first page?"

What?

I had grabbed a whole mittful of papers from the printer and now quickly scrambled through them; I said a silent 'thank you' when I located page one and slid it under the window. She looked through it all, asked for my license (the one without the REAL ID,) my birth certificate, and $214, plus another 60 bucks to have it 'expedited.'

I paid it happily.

She then had me follow her back to the roped-off passport area where she sat me in front of a white screen and took my picture which, when developed, bore a striking resemblance to Jabba the Hutt. A couple of minutes later, she handed back my papers and we were done.

As things go, this was all pretty painless. No begging for a crap-shoot appointment somewhere in the far reaches of New Jersey, no waiting in plastic chairs until they called my name. I was promised the passport in about three to four weeks, which would be just in time for my upcoming trip.

'Ha!' I laughed. 'You can keep your REAL ID....I've got a passport!"

I got home, pulled the car into the garage and took in the mail. Once inside, I flipped through it. Guess what?

Yeah. My REAL ID.

Sigh.

Talk Thursday.

P.S. I actually had a request to post a pic of the magical 'Cat Shirt' that got the great reactions at the DMV ten days before. It is below. Without me in it.